We've all heard these words. 

"I know I don't need this, but I really want it..."

"I'll be happy when I get such and such..."

"I just can't live without it..."

These are the classic words of someone suffering from a terrible disease: Discontentment.

I say disease because discontentment behaves like one. You see something that you want, that you must have in order to "live" or "be happy," and once you start to meditate on that want or desire it quickly spreads and envelopes your mind until all you can think about is fulfilling that craving. It becomes your sole focus, something that you can't stop thinking about, and it bleeds into your every decision, thought,  and experience. 

We all suffer from this "disease" every now and again, myself included. It is a hard nut to crack. The hard part about it is that it weaves itself throughout both our culture and our thought life.

 Discontentment comes from a deep seeded root of ungratefulness. 

It may be hard to admit, but our culture today is a very thankless culture. Half the time people never say thank you to someone who held the door for them, or waited on their table, or helped clean up a mess that was made. Ingratitude is rampant in our culture. 

Discontentment also comes from materialism (also ingratitude.)  Because this is so deeply rooted in our culture, it's very hard to overcome it, and sometimes to even see where it's taken root in our every day lives! 

When we allow ourselves to be ungrateful for something, it leads to discontentment, which leads to 

the need for more and more, a lust that it never satisfied.

 Let's take something as simple as the sofa that is sitting in Mark's house. Mark just purchased a brand new sofa from Ikea only about two years ago. Sure, Ikea may not have the highest quality of furniture, but it has made do so far and will have to continue to make due. Mark can't afford to buy another couch when this one wears out. Mark very much dislikes this couch. It's ugly, very hard, has no support, and every time Mark sits on it he thinks about how much he dislikes this couch and what a waste of money it is.  One day, Mark goes over to his friend Bob's house. Bob's wife just scored and found an almost brand new couch from Pottery Barn for 30 dollars when it costs 3000 dollars new at the store. The couch is in pristine condition, comfortable, and looks high-end and very nice. The first thing that Mark feels as Bob brags about their good luck and what nice couch they now have is a pang of envy. He wants this couch. Why couldn't it have been him who saw the craigslist add instead of his already well off friend? The next thing Mark feels is self pity. Of course Bob and his wife would find it first. Why should Mark? The odds are forever against him. Perhaps he'll never make enough money to find a new couch. Or maybe he'll get evicted before he even has a chance to save up for a new one. Then, the final seed sprouts. Discontent. Mark is now wallowing in discontentment and self pity. He doesn't appreciate what he has. He doesn't think about how lucky he is to have a couch at all, only how unfortunate he is to not have a nice and better and more comfortable one. He wants something better than what he already has. He is dissatisfied with his present situation and believes that he should have something different. Mark sits on Bob's couch, stewing the entire evening because his couch isn't as nice as his friends. 

Now, the above story may seem silly, but it really isn't that far fetched from a reality that all of us experience. Imagine the same situation in the story I just told, but switch out the discontentment that Mark displayed over the sofa for his life. Again, Bob has it better than he does. He has money, two vehicles, a beautiful home, and two well behaved children. Mark, on the other hand, is barely paying the mortgage on his two bedroom house, his wife is working two jobs and is exhausted trying to help Mark keep up with the constant bills pouring in, and Mark's children can't seem to step foot in the house after school with making horribly loud and annoying noises, just to irritate their parents and each other. Mark looks at Bob's life. Everything about it outshines his own. Mark begins to grow restless. He longs for something to just be easy for once, quiet children, a wife who doesn't have to be so exhausted all the time doing his job as provider when he can't keep a job, some peace and quiet every now and then. He becomes very unhappy with the way his life has been going, and before he knows it, deep seeds of bitterness towards himself, God, and his circumstances begin to sprout.  Discontentment grows. The vicious cycle repeats over and over again in everything in his life. 

We've established that the first step in the cycle of discontentment is ungratefulness, all though all of these are related to each other in different elements. The second is envy, when we see the things that we deem would be better in our hands than in the hands of others. The third is self pity, and finally the result is discontentment. 

1. Ingratitude

2. Envy

3. Self pity

4. Discontentment

Discontentment is when we get the feelings of "I can't live without" or "I will finally be happy when I get such and such" or "I have to have this." There are many, many other statements that stem from discontentment, but the funny thing about these three specifically is that usually when we are ungrateful for the things we have and we see something that we deem will be better and we should have it, we usually can live without that thing, we don't need everything that we think we need, and if we simply had thankful hearts we wouldn't need that something to be happy! Materialism creates the illusion that what we have is not sustainable, and we need something better. This is not always the case!

When we engage in feelings of ungratefulness and discontentment, we give the enemy room to start manipulating what we know to be true against us. More importantly, discontentment is a lack of faith in God. Discontentment says "God doesn't know what you need. If he did, wouldn't he give it to you? This isn't fair and this is not what you deserve." Oh, if we only had enough faith in God to believe that He has a plan and He wants what is best for us! 

So what is the antidote? 

Thanksgiving!

Gratefulness!

Praise!

Contentment! 

Now, I'm not saying that it's bad to have desires. I have plenty of desires! For example, I want very deeply to get married one day and raise a family, have beautiful, healthy children, go to Israel every year, and have enough resources to get by on and bless other people with. Those are my "big" desires, but I do have smaller and less "important" ones as well. Having a beautiful Stradivarius violin is one of them, as an example. A nice car, cute clothes, and endless supply of notebooks for FREE. None of these things should overtake my every thought and action, though. I can want those things, but in the mean time while I don't have them or may never have them, I cannot seep into ungratefulness, self pity, and discontentment. That is not God's way! God's way is for me to accept where I am in life, and thank Him for the things that He has given to me. To be content in the place that I am, right here, right now. To be happy for my lot in life! That is a much better option than wallowing in discontentment, where life is bleak, dark, and unfair. 

There are two ways to ask for things in life. The first way is to complain, which isn't really asking for anything. It's speaking in an ungrateful and discontented way about one's life circumstances in the vain hope that something will change, and the tides will suddenly shift. 

The other answer is to come in humility and thanksgiving before your heavenly Father. He knows the desires of your heart. Bring your desires and the longings of your heart before him, but in the mean time, don't let yourself be in a place of discontent and ungratefulness. Remember that God wants what is best for you! It is the desire of His heart that you live in a constant state of joy, gratitude, and contentment. 

Choose thankfulness!

The process if simple.

1. First, thank God for whatever situation you are in! Refuse to let yourself sink into self pity. God has a plan and a purpose... You just have to trust the process! If you find yourself struggling to be thankful and content, pray and ask God to help you to develop and attitude of gratitude and show you the things that you need to be thankful for.  

2. Offer praise to God. Filling your days with praise and worship to your Heavenly Creator chases away all traces of discontentment and ingratitude. How can one be discontent and ungrateful when the creator of the entire universe loves and adores you? Start praising!

3. Start a gratitude journal. Start off every day with telling God how thankful you are for x, y, and z. Say it verbally and write it down in a special notebook that is easy for you to take with you where ever you go. If at any point throughout the day you start to feel a twinge of ungratefulness and discontentment, start to write down everything that you are thankful for in your notebook, even if you don't feel that thankful in the moment. Write until all of the discontentment is gone. It goes away quickly if pour your heart into it! 

Yes, sometimes it is very difficult to be content with where you are in life; spiritually, physically, and mentally, but sometimes those things that we are unhappy with are the things that God has chosen for our paths. We must trust that He knows what is best for us, even if His plans don't line up with what we think our plans should be. No matter what, choose to be happy with your lot in life, and look forward to all of the wonderful things that God has for you!